Thoughts on January

Is it just me, or has it been January forever? I probably go through this same thought process every single year, but it feels like January is never going to end. It is just inching by, rubbing it in my face that magical Christmas winter is over, and giant, slushy, suckball winter is here to stay for the next three to four months.

Because let’s face it…April is still winter in Nebraska.

I’m not sure when January became such a bummer of a month, but I think it might have started the first year I was a stay-at-home mom. I love being home with our kids, but it can be kind of lonely — especially right after Christmas. All the hubbub and magic is whisked away (and I do believe post-Christmas depression is a real thing), and the boys and I basically spend our days inside, tucked away from the cold.

The stomach flu chewed up Owen and spit him back out.

It doesn’t help that there isn’t much going on in January. At the beginning of the month, both Archer and Randy had major birthdays (the big 1 and the BIG 3-0) , but the stomach flu and croup kind of put a damper on the celebrations. We haven’t even been able to leave the house for church or any of my little brother’s basketball games because we’ve just been hammered with sickness since the end of December.

However, I think a big cause of my ennui is something that has nothing to do with this month at all — my sister’s upcoming wedding. That’s probably really confusing, so let me explain. I am beyond excited about her wedding. I have her shower booked at a local vineyard, and I have so many ideas on Pinterest that I can’t even remember why I pinned half of them.

June cannot get here fast enough…and that’s the problem. When something exciting is approaching, time seems to slow down. As busy as the boys can keep me here at home, it’s not enough to make this month hurry on by.

But it will end (in less than 10 days now), and we’ll get out of our slump. Once again, time will start moving way too fast, and next thing I know, Court’s wedding will be here and gone and we’ll be halfway through the year.

Realizing that kind of puts thing in perspective. Time does fly by, and if for one month a year it slows down a bit, I should be grateful. I feel like my boys are growing up so fast, so maybe slow-moving January is really just God’s way to freeze time for me for a bit.

You know what? I take it back.

January’s not so bad after all.

I Resolve…

Happy 2015! This post is just a few days past due. I had every intention of sharing this on New Year’s Day; however, the stomach flu hit me that evening and changed my plans for the next couple of days. Thank goodness it’s over (for all four of us now) and please God, no more puking in our house.

I’m usually not big on New Year’s resolutions. I’ve made them in the past, only to forget them a month or two later. This year is different, though. Instead of just throwing something out there like, “I want to lose weight,” I’m being mindful about my resolutions. I’ve given them a lot of thought, and this is what I have come up with.`

1. I will place more value on my health.

A big part of my goal here is to lose weight; I can’t deny that. However, I also want to be healthier overall, not just for my sake, but also for my family’s sake. My boys deserve a mom who can keep up with them as they grow and become more and more active. I don’t have a problem with it now, but I’m not heading down a good path if I don’t make any changes. So far, I’ve given up pop, started drinking more water, and am trying to add more physical activity into my day, even if it’s just cranking up the credits to Madagascar and dancing like a lunatic with the boys.

2. I will nurture my relationship with my husband.

This is something I think about often, but fail miserably at. After being around the kids all day, the last thing I want is to take care of someone else who is perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

That’s a crappy attitude to have; I know.

I’m working on it, and I think I’ve figured out the root of my problem. You know how there’s supposed to be a hierarchy of relationships? God first, husband second, kids third? Well, I have that pretty much backwards. I put the kids’ needs before Randy’s in most situations. Sometimes it’s intentional, but more often, it’s just instinctual.

While I definitely wouldn’t say our marriage is in bad shape, it could use some TLC. I’m going to put my best effort into not complaining about silly little things like leaving the peanut butter out or tracking in some dirt. The peanut butter is easily put away and the dirt is easily swept, but the nagging is not as easily forgotten.

I also am going to take the time to be more loving toward my husband. Oftentimes he’ll swoop in for a hug or kiss only to have me dodge him. Why? Sometimes I’m busy cleaning or making supper, and sometimes I just need my space if one of the boys was a little extra clingy throughout the day. I’ve realized how unfair that is to Randy, though, and how crappy if probably makes him feel. It’s definitely not my intention, so I am going to be more aware of my actions and give my husband the attention he wants and deserves.

3. I will reach out to others more.

More conversations with friends, more phone calls, texts, Facebook messages…whatever it takes, I am going to keep in closer touch with the people who matter to me. Even if it’s just to say hello, I’m going to take the time to do so more often.

I also have made some new friends through my MOPS group, and I’d love to get to know them better. A lot of times, my lack of confidence holds me back from taking initiative to make connections, so I think reaching out is a good goal for me to really work at.

4. I will live more naturally and self-sufficiently.

Since becoming a mom, I’ve kind of slowly become more interested in ways to be more natural. It started with breastfeeding and cloth diapering and has now expanded to exploring essential oils and making more processed food items homemade (such as this cream of chicken soup, which is so good and so easy). It’s been a very slow transition, and I don’t think I’ll ever be super-crunchy (e.g., I actually switched from the more natural cloth diaper detergent to Tide because it got our diapers cleaner and is cheaper. And we still use disposables at nighttime.). I’m not trying to win an award or join some exclusive club. I just want to make decisions that work for our family.

In an attempt to be more self-sufficient, I tried to start my own garden this past summer. It utterly failed because I did not inherit my mom’s green thumb, but I will learn from my mistakes and try again this upcoming summer. Even though my garden did not grow, I was lucky to get tons of tomatoes, sweet corn, and green beans from my family and friends, and I am making sure they do not go to waste. I’ve never canned anything, but we have a decent sized upright freezer in our kitchen, which makes it easy to pull out a bag of sweet corn to heat up for dinner or a few tomatoes to make pizza/spaghetti sauce. I’m getting excited to try my garden again because I’m sure everything will taste a little bit better knowing I grew it.

5. I will spend more time with God.

Once again, here’s a place where I need to work on my hierarchy. My relationship with God has grown leaps and bounds in the past year, but I’m still not giving myself enough time to immerse myself in prayer and His word. I’d love to be one of those people who wakes up early and just spends some time in devotion before the kids wake up and the day starts.

But I’m totally not.

I think someday I will be that person, but right now, it’s hard. Sometimes the boys wake up early, and most mornings (who am I kidding — every morning), Archer is already in bed with me, and waking up early means taking the risk of waking him up too. (See, hierarchy issues.) Owen doesn’t take a nap anymore; therefore, I don’t get much alone time during the day. So I’ve decided I’m going to take the free chances I get, even if it’s just a few minutes here and there. It only takes a couple of minutes to read a daily devotion, and I can use it as food for thought throughout the day. Also, I can include the boys and make it special time for all of us together. I want my children to grow up knowing the love of God because I hope with all my heart it’s something they carry with them throughout their lives.

Well, that’s it. These are my resolutions for 2015. Even though I started out the year with the stomach flu, it’s looking to be a wonderful year full of growth. I can’t wait to see what it brings!